Nineteenth century children had no "bouncy houses," entertainers, or pizza parties. At parties they usually played parlor games. Those who lost had to play "forfeits." Imagine not inviting more friends because the tablecloth would be too short!In the company that night, there were four boys and four girls, and they were Gay's most particular friends. He would have liked to invite three other young people, but eight made a convenient number—just enough for a quadrille, with Gay's lady-sister at the piano; the right number, too, for comfortable seating at the table, though a larger number were seatable by putting in the last leaf; but then the best table-cloth—the very best—the snow-drop damask, would not reach by three inches. Of course, this defect might be managed by piecing with a fine towel, and setting the tea-tray over the piecing. But it was better to have things come out even and comfortable.
After the party had enjoyed the tea, and had looked at the albums, autographic and photographic, at the stereoscopic pictures, and at Gay's collection of coins and of postage-stamps, and at his lady-sister's collection of sea-weeds, some inspired boy proposed games.
Everybody said: "Oh! Yes! Let's!" and each proposed a separate game.
'Simon says wig-wag" was selected. The lady-sister volunteered her services as prompter.
There was great merriment. The frequent lapses among the players created a stream of forfeits. In fifteen minutes, every boy's pocket was emptied of knife, purse, pencil, rubber, and anything else available for a pawn, and not one of the girls had a handkerchief left, or a bracelet, or ring, or flower, or a removable ribbon. All such articles were piled on the sofa beside the tyrannical Simon, as penalties paid for inattention to his orders.
"Now, we 'll redeem the pawns," said Simon, perceiving that the interest in wagging and thumbsdown was waning.
John Dabney was selected as master of ceremonies, the lady-sister acted as blind judge, and the redeeming of forfeits began.
"Heavy! Heavy! Heavy! What hangs over you?" John cried, with ponderous tone, as he held over the lady-sister's head a handkerchief of cobwebby lace, that swayed in the window-breeze as it in refutation of his tone and words.
"Fine, or superfine?" asked the judge, through the handkerchief over her face.
"Fine," answered John, with confidence.
"Oh, you must say it 's superfine, if it 's a girl's pawn," somebody said.
"Oh, yes! I understand now," said John. "It's superfine. What shall the owner do?"
"Act the dumb servant," ordered the judge.
"Go along, Sarah; it 's yours," was the call.
"Sarah Ketchum can't act the dumb servant; she can't keep from talking long enough. And, besides, she can't act the servant, she 's so used to making servants of other folks. Give her the talking mistress to act, and she 'll do that as if she was born to it."
It was Hal who was flinging out all these jokes at Sarah Ketchum's expense. He and Sarah were always sparring.
"Sarah shows that she can be dumb and humble by not replying to your chaffing," Maggie said, as the elected actor took position and faced the audience.
"How do you wash dishes?" John asked of the dumb servant.
"By proxy!" Hal volunteered.
Sarah reached a vase from the mantel.
"One of her dishes," commented the audience, "and the pansy lamp-mat is the dish-cloth."
The dumb actor dipped the mat into a card-receiver, and made believe to wash the vase, a volume of Whittier's poems, and a paper-weight.
When the washing was ended, Maggie threw out a criticism:
"She leaves her dish-cloth in the greasy water, and does n't empty the dish-pan."
"How do you dress a chicken?" the dumb servant was asked.
Sarah looked about, seeking materials for an object-lesson. She caught sight of a stuffed owl. Like a masterful eagle, she possessed herself of it. Then she darted out of the room, presently returning with a doll-trunk. From this, she produced pantalets for the owl's legs, a ruff for its neck, a hat for its head, and soon it stood in full dress and spectacles, looking so wise and so funny that the children laughed heartily.
"How do you take care of the baby?" John asked the dumb servant, interrupting the laughing comments on Master Owl's appearance as a "dressed chicken."
The dumb servant walked over to her traditional enemy Hal, who, fortunately, had a plump, round face, quite in keeping with the character of baby.
He occupied a rocking-chair. Sarah laid his head against the chair-back, and began singing in pantomime, "Hush, my dear; lie still and slumber!" in the meantime rocking him so violently that the baby clutched the chair's arms in terror. Then, quite in character with the traditional nurse, she seized a large flower-vase and pretended to pour some drug into his mouth, in a way that made him gag and sneeze, and contort his face.
"No need to give him sleeping-drops," someone commented; "he 's one of the famous seven, already."
Hal, instead of sleeping on his soothing-syrup, sat up straight as a crock, stretched his eyes wide open, and showed unusual animation. Whereupon the dumb nurse administered such fresh rockings and shakings as must have revenged her for many an attack she had received from Hal.
The master of ceremonies rescued the baby from further infliction, by waving a wand, in other words, a lead-pencil, and pronouncing the spell of silence removed from Sarah.
"Fine, or superfine?" demanded the blind justice, when assured that something hung over her.
"Fine, only. What shall the owner do to redeem it?"
"Put one hand where the other can't touch it," the judge pronounced.
"Hal's! It's Hal's!" the young people cried, in joyful excitement.
Hal stood up, facing the company, the impersonation of smiles.
"Now, go ahead. Do it," said Alfred.
Hal launched out on the sea of experimenting, by placing the right hand on the right shoulder.
"Oh!" said Alfred. "Of course you can touch that hand with the left," and Hal immediately demonstrated that he could do this.
Then the right hand went between his shoulder-blades, but was presently met by the left. Then under the right knee was tried, but this, too, as well as the left, turned out to be accessible to both hands.
"Hal thinks that his right arm is longer than his left, and can outreach it," said Sarah Ketchum.
Maggie, who had been trying to solve the puzzle, now expressed the opinion that the thing could n't be done.
So said one and another.
"I '11 tell you, Hal, how you might do it," said Alfred. "If you could get one hand in your mouth, then you 'd have it where the other could n't touch it."
But Hal, unheeding Alfred's fun, kept on twisting and screwing, finding out much more about his joints and the movements of muscles and the relations of parts than he had remarked in years before.
Suddenly, he cried out, "There! I 've got it!"
His right hand was on the left elbow, and his left hand was straining to reach the right. Instantly everybody's right hand was put on the left elbow, testing Hal's solution.
"That's it!" "He's done it!" "Hurrah for Hal!"
Hal went to his seat, flushed with exercise and triumph, and the play proceeded.
"What shall the owner do?" John demanded, concerning another pawn.
"Measure on the wall the height of a stove-pipe hat from the floor. Failing to come within an inch of the height, the owner must leave the room, and come back with more arms than two."
"That's easy enough," said the sentenced, who was no less a personage than Sarah Ketchum.
She made a mark on the wall, as her estimate of the hat's height. It was nearly nine inches from the floor.
"Oh, it is n't that high," said Alfred, laughing gayly.
Then the others said, "No!" "Yes!" "No, it is n't!" "Yes, it is!" etc.
"Bring the stove-pipe," said Sarah. "I'm sure I 'm within an inch of being right."
But when the hat was set on the floor, there were several exclamations of surprise.
Sarah had failed, and the conditional sentence was repeated.
"Leave the room, and return with more arms than two."
When she had gone, all fell to wondering how she would do this. Some thought she might come back carrying a statuette; some said it would be a doll, if she could find one; others were sure she would wheel in an arm-chair. But their surmises were speedily ended, as Sarah's re-entrance was greeted with laughter and cheers. Over one shoulder she carried a gun and a broom; in one hand was a revolver, while in her belt gleamed two carving-knives.
Alfred was the next one called out. He was required to place a yard of wrapping-cord upon the floor in such a manner that two persons standing on it would not be able to touch each other with their hands.
It was a sight to sec those girls and boys manipulate that string. They laid it straight, they laid it zigzag, they curved it, they did it into a circle. Finally, they owned themselves beaten. Then Gay's lady-sister opened the door, laid the string across the sill, stationing Hal on one end of the cord and Sarah Ketchum on the other; she closed the door between them, turned the key in the lock, and said, loud enough for both to hear:
"Now, shake hands, good friends!"
Then everybody saw that it was "just as easy as anything."
The next penalty, Fred Groots was to pay. He was to put a question the answer to which would be always wrong. This was a great puzzler. All early gave it up, and called imperatively on the judge to explain. She replied:
"What does WRONG spell?"
"How easy!" "What stupids we were!"
"Place that silver vase on the floor so that one cannot step over it," was the judge's next order.
It was Gay's pawn that this was to redeem.
"Well, there!" said Gay, setting the vase in the center of the room.
"But one can step over that," was claimed.
"No; one can't," Gay replied, with confidence.
"Why, what nonsense!" said the boys, gathering about the vase, and striding over it, back and forth.
"There!" "Can't we?" they demanded.
"Yes," Gay admitted, but added, with a superior air: "You can; but I know one who can't; one Muscovy duck, and also one mosquito."
Then the judge, not satisfied with Gay's solution, put the vase close up in a corner, and said:
"Now, let us see you step over it."
They saw then that they could n't.
The next requisition was upon Maggie. She was to put Gay through into the adjoining room, without opening the door, and without leaving the room.
"Why," said Gay," she could n't put me in there if she had all the improved war projectiles, that is, if I did n't want to go."
"Oh! that's the way," said one of the girls, "she's to put you in there by moral suasion. You '11 go through the front door and come around."
"That's not the way," said the judge. "I'll state the sentence in another form. Maggie is to put Gay through the key-hole."
"I know," said Maggie, bubbling with eagerness. "Give me a pencil. I '11 write 'Gay' on a slip of paper, and put it through the key-hole."
The last sentenced was Clara. She was to push the baby-carriage, which was standing in the next room, through her bracelet.
How do you think she did it?
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